Part 1 of any number of posts wherein I process all the blessings and cursings – and lessons - of the previous year
I don’t plan. At all. Not long term, short term, day by day. Why bother, I decided, not too long ago. I used to plan right down to the minute and up to 5 years out. I belong to a church which espouses the virtues of discipline in such things as planning, budgeting, and organization. And for a long time, I worked really hard to be good at all of it; to be disciplined at such things as planning, budgeting, and organization. But slowly, it waned more and more, perhaps because I sensed it didn’t really make my life better. I felt pride when things went as planned and I made all my appointments, when my budget balanced, when things were where I thought they should be. But on a macro level, nothing was really better. And then in the last few years, life just kept throwing me these curve balls that made such things as planning, budgeting and organization seem silly and presumptuous. People get hit by cars and almost die and suffer long-term consequences; others fall down stairs and die before I get to visit with them and play the gin rummy tournament I had planed and was looking forward to; apartments flood and jobs are lost and I end up homeless for six months; loved ones suffer tragic and catastrophic loss at the same time they are bringing a new life into the world. It seems silly to worry about coordinating my schedule or paying off my credit cards or alphabetizing my DVDs (as if I would alphabetize my DVDs. they should be arranged by genre, actor, era or director). As if by controlling the stupid details, I can keep at bay the tragedies that turn it all into chaos anyway.
However this year I noticed, that had I been doing such things as planning, budgeting and organizing; the flood and job loss may not have been so catastrophic. If I’d been saving a little bit of money (or paying off more of my debt), and planning ahead, I may not have ended up having to couch surf for six months. Heck, if I’d been thinking clearer and gone to social services right away, they would have been able to help me and I might not have needed to deal with major upheaval every month to two months.
So lesson learned. Will I go back to planning every minute and up to five years out? probably not. But not just because tragedy may strike, but because life is easier when you can be flexible. Life is more fun when you’re not slave to your schedule or your budget. For me the lesson is balance. A good 5 year goal, 1 year goal, and running to-do-list are basic ingredients to a life where you accomplish stuff. You add the flavour with colourful post-it-notes reminding yourself that you can reach your goals, exceed expectations, make the world a better place just by being you; wall calendars that show you the next few months at a glance, with big goals and events highlighted; and whatever else you do that helps you remember to keep your dreams alive because they can be achieved but only if we’re still aiming.
What we often don’t want to think about is how our financial behaviour effects our ability to reach goals. This year, I’d like to just have a more realistic relationship with planning and budgeting, and treat them as one and the same. Financial goals and life goals need to plotted on the same graph, need to be functions of one another, and need to be grounded in reality. For that to work, you have to look at them fairly regularly and make adjustments to spending and income, and you also need to be a little disciplined and follow the guidelines you set for yourself in how to spend in order to be able to save. You’re reading this and thinking, “duh, Kristin!!” and I’m saying, “yes, I know… but…” One thing I learned this year, is that I’m not always realistic about things I can’t quite picture. Like long term goals, or even relatively short term goals that represent a major shift in my situation. I have a difficult time making the details make sense relative to the destination. So that’s what I’m going to work on. Because I’m not getting younger, here, people! And I have dreams, big dreams (as I always have) and I’d like to start figuring out how to make them happen!!
